Gemruttan is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, witless raven.

Gemruttan created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemruttan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gemruttan, she will have a low opinion of you.

Gemruttan's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Gemruttan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Gemruttan on top of important buildings.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Do not speak about parsnips.

4. Never hurt mites.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.