Fatbafcen is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring alligator.

Fatbafcen created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatbafcen, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fatbafcen, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Fatbafcen's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Fatbafcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention shrews.

2. Do not take Fatbafcen's name in vain.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Hide if four monkeys approach from the east.