Loopkemnurl is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, all-powerful swan.

Loopkemnurl created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopkemnurl, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Loopkemnurl, he will be very unhappy.

Loopkemnurl's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Loopkemnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help sick ducks.

4. Loopkemnurl loves shrews, so they must be respected.

5. Do not listen to music.