Yarpyart Dadruttpag is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, passionate otter.

Yarpyart Dadruttpag created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpyart Dadruttpag, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Yarpyart Dadruttpag, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yarpyart Dadruttpag's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Yarpyart Dadruttpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never jump near eagles.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Do not chop down trees.