Vegfiggofloopquafdib is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, confident aardvark.

Vegfiggofloopquafdib created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegfiggofloopquafdib, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vegfiggofloopquafdib, it will make you grow a tail.

Vegfiggofloopquafdib's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Vegfiggofloopquafdib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Vegfiggofloopquafdib loves cats, so they must be respected.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.