Godwaphon is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, selfish giraffe.

Godwaphon created the planet Venus six billion years ago.

If you believe in Godwaphon, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Godwaphon, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Godwaphon's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Godwaphon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about beans.

2. Always help tortoises.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Hide from turquoise eagles for they are unholy.