Fassingum is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, contented parrot.

Fassingum created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fassingum, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fassingum, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fassingum's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Fassingum's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never eat limes.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Fassingum loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.