Hivbonkfad is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, witty meerkat.

Hivbonkfad created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivbonkfad, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hivbonkfad, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Hivbonkfad's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Hivbonkfad's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

3. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Never hurt great tits.