Zakbanbot Pasbifkapflammotdumyarthog Janbutvid is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, witless dog.

Zakbanbot Pasbifkapflammotdumyarthog Janbutvid created matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakbanbot Pasbifkapflammotdumyarthog Janbutvid, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zakbanbot Pasbifkapflammotdumyarthog Janbutvid, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Zakbanbot Pasbifkapflammotdumyarthog Janbutvid's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Zakbanbot Pasbifkapflammotdumyarthog Janbutvid's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat coconuts.

2. Never think ill of sick doves.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always look after injured geese.