Hasladcud is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, contented jackal.

Hasladcud created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hasladcud, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hasladcud, she will turn you into a mole.

Hasladcud's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Hasladcud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never paint your arms fawn.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always treat nematodes with great respect.