Hadshavgam is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, clever snake.

Hadshavgam created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hadshavgam, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hadshavgam, he will turn you into a duck.

Hadshavgam's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Hadshavgam's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hadshavgam.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never hurt otters.