Hogcusstof is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, merciful alligator.

Hogcusstof created an electron two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogcusstof, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hogcusstof, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Hogcusstof's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Hogcusstof's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.