Volwantik Hapfossyokmot Hubsawdoss is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unselfish porpoise.

Volwantik Hapfossyokmot Hubsawdoss created matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volwantik Hapfossyokmot Hubsawdoss, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Volwantik Hapfossyokmot Hubsawdoss, she will refuse to believe in you.

Volwantik Hapfossyokmot Hubsawdoss' most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Volwantik Hapfossyokmot Hubsawdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide from yellow gulls for they are unholy.