Gardogrull is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, awe-inspiring walrus.

Gardogrull created the Milkyway eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gardogrull, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gardogrull, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gardogrull's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Gardogrull's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. You must pray to Gardogrull four times a day.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gardogrull.

5. Do not take Gardogrull's name in vain.