Ominbemsak is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, wise dugong.

Ominbemsak created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ominbemsak, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ominbemsak, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Ominbemsak's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Ominbemsak's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not eat tomatoes.

5. Never hurt otters.