Midbatbess is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, quiet centipede.

Midbatbess created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midbatbess, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Midbatbess, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Midbatbess' most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Midbatbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Run away if nine monkeys approach from the west.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never wear red coats.

5. Do not cook food in pots.