Gepyarlfag is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, overgenerous salamander.

Gepyarlfag created everything that exists three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepyarlfag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gepyarlfag, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Gepyarlfag's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Gepyarlfag's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry manatees.

2. Retreat if four great tits approach from the west.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never go into orange rooms.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.