Xembanranhencenstan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, vain skunk.

Xembanranhencenstan created a top quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xembanranhencenstan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Xembanranhencenstan, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Xembanranhencenstan's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Xembanranhencenstan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.