Xuchamratmidvolnanlarg is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, humane octopus.

Xuchamratmidvolnanlarg created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuchamratmidvolnanlarg, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Xuchamratmidvolnanlarg, it will think nothing of it.

Xuchamratmidvolnanlarg's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Xuchamratmidvolnanlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

2. You must love Xuchamratmidvolnanlarg.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never eat bark.