Mettailomin is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, staggering deer.

Mettailomin created Asia six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mettailomin, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Mettailomin, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Mettailomin's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Mettailomin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Run away if nine dolphins approach from the east.