Jigmobcuss Zagtifpod Dadtaryarhas is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, egotistical monkey.

Jigmobcuss Zagtifpod Dadtaryarhas created the Sombrero Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jigmobcuss Zagtifpod Dadtaryarhas, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jigmobcuss Zagtifpod Dadtaryarhas, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Jigmobcuss Zagtifpod Dadtaryarhas' most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Jigmobcuss Zagtifpod Dadtaryarhas' Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never pour water over plants.