Sintifhap is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unselfish goat.

Sintifhap created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sintifhap, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sintifhap, he will torture you forever.

Sintifhap's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Sintifhap's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

2. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Worship no other gods but Sintifhap.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Always look after injured cats.