Ladbattim is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humane tortoise.

Ladbattim created dark matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ladbattim, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ladbattim, she will destroy your favourite star.

Ladbattim's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Ladbattim's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Ladbattim loves gulls, so they must be respected.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never mention dogs.