Zedsasbossfar is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, amazing donkey.

Zedsasbossfar created the universe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedsasbossfar, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zedsasbossfar, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Zedsasbossfar's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Zedsasbossfar's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zedsasbossfar.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Zedsasbossfar.

4. Never hurt turtles.

5. Do not take Zedsasbossfar's name in vain.