Bagflanved is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witty hyena.

Bagflanved created the planet Mars nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagflanved, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bagflanved, she will turn you into a dog.

Bagflanved's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bagflanved's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bagflanved.

3. Do not wear yellow clothing.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Do not chop down trees.