Damtikquamzedgepfasyok is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, stupid scorpion.

Damtikquamzedgepfasyok created the Small Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Damtikquamzedgepfasyok, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Damtikquamzedgepfasyok, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Damtikquamzedgepfasyok's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Damtikquamzedgepfasyok's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Feed all hungry voles.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.