Vadgemgumnegnig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, temperamental ant.

Vadgemgumnegnig created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadgemgumnegnig, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vadgemgumnegnig, she will turn you into a mole.

Vadgemgumnegnig's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Vadgemgumnegnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Hide from fawn ducks for they are unholy.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never run in the presence of pigs.