Hakteenquafbimkadnull is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, happy weasel.

Hakteenquafbimkadnull created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hakteenquafbimkadnull, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hakteenquafbimkadnull, it will turn you into a sheep.

Hakteenquafbimkadnull's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Hakteenquafbimkadnull's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not speak about peas.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always help badgers in need.

5. Never laugh near birds.