Hingomwik is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, emotional dog.

Hingomwik created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hingomwik, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hingomwik, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Hingomwik's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Hingomwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hingomwik.

3. Run away if four pigs approach from the north.

4. Never paint your feet blue.

5. Do not commit murder.