Fetyakfab Yarbitnib Nulbinspagfag is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, deceitful centipede.

Fetyakfab Yarbitnib Nulbinspagfag created a down quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetyakfab Yarbitnib Nulbinspagfag, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fetyakfab Yarbitnib Nulbinspagfag, it will refuse to believe in you.

Fetyakfab Yarbitnib Nulbinspagfag's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Fetyakfab Yarbitnib Nulbinspagfag's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always help manatees in need.

3. Never talk about voles.

4. Run away from blue mice, for they are unholy.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.