Ponladtettikadzagfotwip is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, impressive lobster.

Ponladtettikadzagfotwip created the Andromeda Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ponladtettikadzagfotwip, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ponladtettikadzagfotwip, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Ponladtettikadzagfotwip's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Ponladtettikadzagfotwip's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured porpoises.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never talk about fire.