Bogbassfem is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, charitable narwhal.

Bogbassfem created a down quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogbassfem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bogbassfem, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bogbassfem's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Bogbassfem's Holy Commandments

1. Snakes are not to be trusted.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.