Yaknurthat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, humane newt.

Yaknurthat created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yaknurthat, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yaknurthat, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Yaknurthat's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Yaknurthat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never eat apples.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Yaknurthat.

4. Never feed strawberries to porpoises while wearing black corsets.

5. Never play with disobedient children.