Wot is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy alligator.

Wot created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wot, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Wot, he will make you grow a tail.

Wot's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Wot's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always wear brown.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never look in ponds.