Gigrotnad is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, proud snail.

Gigrotnad created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gigrotnad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gigrotnad, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gigrotnad's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Gigrotnad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never paint your hands pink.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Pray towards the south.