Tinwikfem is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, vain owl.

Tinwikfem created silver seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tinwikfem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tinwikfem, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tinwikfem's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tinwikfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.