Cumpasmif is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, idiotic wyrm.

Cumpasmif created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cumpasmif, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cumpasmif, he will come to you in dreams.

Cumpasmif's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Cumpasmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Erect nine silver sculptures of Cumpasmif on top of important buildings.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Cumpasmif on top of all buildings.

5. Never think about comets.