Cabrulhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, annoying tortoise.

Cabrulhiv created the Andromeda Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Cabrulhiv, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cabrulhiv, she will laugh at you.

Cabrulhiv's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Cabrulhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away from orange rats, for they are unholy.

4. Hide from red birds for they are unholy.

5. Always take life seriously.