Dussparkhitken is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, weak cow.

Dussparkhitken created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Dussparkhitken, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dussparkhitken, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Dussparkhitken's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Dussparkhitken's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not wear green clothing.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Feed all hungry porpoises.