Pitkommingumpod is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, duplicitous tapir.

Pitkommingumpod created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitkommingumpod, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pitkommingumpod, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Pitkommingumpod's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Pitkommingumpod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never bounce near horses.