Janfonbam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, deceitful lobster.

Janfonbam created life six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janfonbam, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Janfonbam, he will have a low opinion of you.

Janfonbam's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Janfonbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

5. Never run in holy places.