Kadpakvon is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, calm naga.

Kadpakvon created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kadpakvon, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kadpakvon, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kadpakvon's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Kadpakvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt monkeys.

2. Never wear pink stockings.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kadpakvon.