Witweecin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tranquil mink.

Witweecin created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witweecin, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Witweecin, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Witweecin's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Witweecin's Holy Commandments

1. Witweecin loves eagles, so they must be respected.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never think ill of sick badgers.

4. Do not kill squirrels.

5. Retreat if eight sharks approach from the east.