Zimlargkop Gidyarpbum is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, deceitful beaver.

Zimlargkop Gidyarpbum created silver six million years ago.

If you believe in Zimlargkop Gidyarpbum, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zimlargkop Gidyarpbum, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zimlargkop Gidyarpbum's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Zimlargkop Gidyarpbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Never feed aubergines to whales while wearing purple hats.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always obey Zimlargkop Gidyarpbum's priests.