Tindamved is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, egotistical cobra.

Tindamved created the Milkyway four million years ago.

If you believe in Tindamved, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tindamved, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tindamved's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Tindamved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never paint your head gray.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never think about moons.
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