Nankarjab is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unsympathetic mink.

Nankarjab created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nankarjab, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nankarjab, she will torture you forever.

Nankarjab's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Nankarjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Run away if three moths approach from the south.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never hurt tapirs.

5. Do not covet oxen.