Omtveghap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, uncaring monkey.

Omtveghap created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Omtveghap, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Omtveghap, he will turn you into a rat.

Omtveghap's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Omtveghap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Run away from black pigs, for they are unholy.

3. Never paint your back white.

4. Put Omtveghap first in all things.

5. Do not shave your feet.