Gumyik is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, deceitful skunk.

Gumyik created a photon four million years ago.

If you believe in Gumyik, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gumyik, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gumyik's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Gumyik's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Gumyik.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Gumyik loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

5. Always take life seriously.