Kenvegwig is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, egotistical squid.

Kenvegwig created carbon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kenvegwig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kenvegwig, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Kenvegwig's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Kenvegwig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta badgers for they are unholy.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not eat lemons.

5. Always take life seriously.