Komflanjoplin is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tranquil squirrel.

Komflanjoplin created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Komflanjoplin, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Komflanjoplin, it will turn you into a duck.

Komflanjoplin's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Komflanjoplin's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not dye your hair cyan.